Épisode Tous en scène S02E13 - One of us Saison 2

Queen of the Zombies begins with Joan and Adam in the halls at school.

Adam - Hey, how was your tutoring with Roger?

Joan - Oh, it was awesome. He totally helped me with my history paper and I aced my math quiz.

Adam - Cool. Oh, check this out. Bennington. They have a great art department plus all the liberal arts stuff for you.

Joan - Vermont? Mm-hmm. Way too much snow.

Adam - No. But they don't have grades there.

Joan - Really? Mm-hmm. I do love maple syrup. Uhh! Hold the pancakes. Tuition's like car and a half. I think my family's gonna be living out of a barrel after this lawsuit.

Adam - Ok. Then how about Berkeley?

Joan - It's totally impossible to get into. Look, roger was saying that I should try to apply to some smaller places. You know, like Oberlin.

Adam - Oberlin? Isn't that in the middle of a cornfield? I mean, what are we gonna do, shoot squirrels and join a militia? We've gotta be next to a city.

Joan - You're right.

Adam - I'll see you later?

Joan - Ok.

Adam - We'll go over history?

Joan - Yeah. We'll talk about how we want our dorm rooms to look.

Adam - (bumps into Gay Secretary God) Sorry.

God - Ooh, look what I have for you, hot off the presses.

God handed her a flyer about school musical chorus auditions.

Joan - "For the love of Zombies" oh you've got to be kidding. God wants me to audition for a musical?

God - The chorus. Where it all begins.

Joan - [Sighs] You're not serious.

God - I'm always serious, which doesn't mean I'm not fun.

Joan - Ok, in case you've forgotten, I'm trying to get into a college. Work hard in the present so I can have a future. Do you remember when you said that?

God -The future includes more than just you.

Joan - I know. That's why Adam and I are applying to schools together. Oh, by the way, any help you can give me with my essay, you know, to...

God - yeah. You'll need an up-tempo and a ballad. Anything from "Les Mis" is fine.

Joan - Do you remember in fourth grade when they dressed me up like a daisy?

God - (dancing down the hall handing out flyers) Singing, Dancing, Zombies Oh my!

Joan - [Sighs] That didn't go well.

We cut to the opening credits and when we return, Joan is showing up for the auditions. Johnny Broadway is trying to teach them the steps.

Johnny - Grapevine! Step, turn, step, turn. Ball-change, ball-change. Now kick it, now kick it, now kick it, now kick it! All right, back it up. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh! Stop! (They all crouch down) You're reaching up from eternal damnation. (they start to rise like zombies) People, let me see those zombie hands!

Students - Grrr!

Joan - Hi. Is this--

Johnny - chorus auditions? Yes! You're late! Let's go. 5, 6, 7, 8! And...

Joan goes to the back row and starts to wing her way through the dance.

Joan - who's Ryan Seacrest?

Johnny Broadway - Grapevine!

Friedman - He's the guest musical director. Rumor has it he was in "Rent" or he needs rent or something. I don't know. The drama geeks call him "Johnny Broadway."

Joan - What are you doing here, Friedman?

Friedman - Musical theater, hey! It's the straight man's paradise.

Joan - Gross.

Johnny - [Whistles] Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! (The piano player stops) Good. But I need passion, people. This is a love story. Danny is a zombie! (He pulls out a student from the crowd) He's one of you! Suzy... (Pulls out Elizabeth from the crowed) offers her brain to Danny so they can be zombies together forever. Dial into the richness of it. Show me how undead you can be. (To the piano player) Carlos!

Joan - Excuse me, Mr. Broadway.

Johnny - Miss tardy. Yes?

Joan - Well, you're just adding a chorus right now? Aren't the performances this weekend, or...

Johnny - who can fill her in on what we're doing here?

Elizabeth - Oh, we're staying open to the creative process.

Johnny - We're staying open to the creative process. Let's see how well these zombies can sing! (To the Piano Player) Carlito!

Carl - It's Carl.

Johnny - Uhh! 5, 6, 7, 8.

Chorus - He'll be yours forever if you let him eat your brain

They all walk forward on their knees Joan has a skeptical smile.
Cut to Luke and Glynis who are talking science. They talk very fast in very complex terms. Grace is there too, but she just stays out of it.

Luke - so we argue that chaos is not only an inherent building block of matter, but it's actually necessary for the propagation of all life forms.

Glynis - Yes! Because fractals are apparent in so many organic forms! In blood vessels, tree branches--

Grace - great. So what should I write?

Luke - (doesn't notice she spoke) So we could posit that as an organizing principle--

Glynis - the self-similarity of fractals seem--

Grace - could we just speak English for a second here?

Luke - Sorry. We were just--

Grace - I know. I...

Glynis - feel free to jump in.

Grace - I don't think so. (She packs up her bag) I shouldn't have agreed to
do a lab with you two anyway. It'll just screw up my "c" average.

Luke - Come on, Grace. Friedman ditched us to be in the musical.

Glynis - Ditching. Seems to happen to me a lot.

Grace - Yeah, right. That's it. Later.

Glynis - No, please. You can recalculate the differential analysis of the 6 remaining fractals all by yourself.

Grace - I'd love to. I just gotta go jab a railroad spike into my head.

Luke - Grace, you can't leave. We have to go over civics.

Grace - (as she walks out of the room) Power, corruption, revolution. Lather, rinse, repeat. I'm sure you two can handle it.

Glynis - (repeating his name to get his attention) Luke, luke, luke, luke,
luke. The self-similarity of fractals seems to--

Cut away to Adam and Joan walking in the halls together.

Adam - "For the love of zombies"?

Joan - Hey, actually, it's "zombies in love". The director keeps changing the title probably because he's mental.

Adam - We have mid-terms coming up. Are you sure you're gonna have enough time?

Joan - Yeah. The college counselor is stoked. I mean, another extra-curricular? That's admissions gold.

Adam - Yeah, well, my extra-curriculars suck because they don't exist.

Joan - Oh. I think you'd make a cute zombie.

Adam - Aw! Go on.

Joan - I'll eat your brain.

Adam - I'll pick you up after rehearsal?

Joan - Ok.

Joan goes to the rehearsal and we cut to Will who is sitting at home alone reading when Helen gets home.

Will - Oh, I thought you had classes all day.

Helen - Well, they give us lunch. It's a new union rule. I thought you were going to a movie, veg a little.

Will - Somehow I just wasn't in the mood.

Helen - It might take your mind off things.

Will - Chuck Kroner called. The bakers have a court date. Kroner knows the judge and... says it's gonna be tough for us.

Helen - Oh...

Will - yeah.

Helen - My catechism book?

Will - I feel like I just got caught with porn. Don't, Helen. Don't read anything into this.

Helen - When you told me that you were taking sick days, you never really said why.

Will - I said. They were gonna expire.

Helen - No. I know what you said.

Will - Well, I just had to get away... 'cause my, um... job has been ugly. But then here, we get hit with this lawsuit. So I guess the truth is, we can never get away from things, can we?

Helen - I don't know.

Will - I was just hoping for one moment where things make sense, where people weren't cruel for no reason, where they don't die for no reason. Just a moment of decency. Yeah. Stupid, huh?

Helen - Do you want-- (offering her book back)

Will - no. Thanks. Um...there's a game on.

Will gets up and leaves and we cut to the rehearsal.

Danny Zombie - I don't care, it's all the same

All - I just want to eat some brains

Johnny - uhh! Uhh! Stop it, stop it! 3 words, people. Audience in 5 days.

Friedman - That's, like--

Joan - can it. I want to get out of here.

Johnny - (to the piano player) Carly Simon, from the top. Now let me hear it all the way back there! (He starts to walk to the back. Adam is sitting there drawing)

Danny Zombie - What's this burning in my chest?

Girl Zombie - What's this ringing in my ears?

Johnny -More passion!

Boy Zombie - What's this burning in my vein?

Johnny - Yes! Beautiful

Boy Zombie - When I've been dead for 50 years buried underneath your school

Johnny - (To Adam, Re: his drawing) Did you do that just now?

All - Long ago forgotten (In the back ground)

Adam - it's just a sketch.

Johnny - Are those tombstones?

Adam - Yeah. It's like a cemetery. You know, with zombies and everything.

Johnny - And a moon, yeah! This is perfect for the finale. Can you build it?

Adam - You want me to, like, build a set by this weekend?

Johnny - (To the cast) Thank you, people, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow. (to Adam) Why not? Simple, stylized, inspired. You'll have the crew and anything you need. Up to $300. Thank you. (To the piano player) Carlissimo! We need a song about the moon!

Joan has made her way from the stage to where Adam sits.

Joan - Hi. You're gonna do the sets? That's so perfect!

Adam - I don't--I don't know how to build a set, Jane.

Joan - Just use your hammer and stuff. Come on. It's an extra-curricular. I so knew this play was about more than just me. It was so meant to be!

She kisses him and we cut to the court house.

Kevin is leaving his job. Andy is waiting for him.

Kevin - (To his coworker) I'll see you tomorrow, ok?

Andy - Look, Kev, wait.

Kevin - I'm not talking to you, Andy.

Andy - Come on, man. It's about the suit. I'm dropping it. My parents are pissed. They want me to keep going. But without me, man, there's no case. So that's it. It's over. I left home. It's done. I'm staying at the "Y."

Kevin - And I'm supposed to believe you?

Andy - I was in the middle of my deposition, Kev, and I remembered. When the car spun out... and I realized that, uh... I'm driving this one, too. Only this time, I can stop it. So I am. I'm just stopping it.

Kevin - That's beautiful. But see, I don't believe a word you're saying. And it's probably just another way to jack us for money. You just stay out of our lives, dude. (Kevin turns to leave)

Andy - Come on, Kev, you know me. You know I'm telling the truth, man.

Kevin - (On his way out) Not anymore.

We cut to another commercial break and return to join the Girardi family for dinner.

Will - I hope everybody's hungry!

Joan - I love it when dad's home. Maybe you should think about getting fired.

Kevin - Hey, what's with the vino on Wednesday night?

Joan - Are we gonna become drunks now? That is so Osbourne's.

Helen - No. It's a celebration, a little surprise.

Will - We are no longer being sued by Andy and his barely-human family.

Joan - That is awesome!

Luke - Congratulations!

Kevin - (Sitting there stunned) Wait, wait. Are you sure about this?

Will - Kroner called. They just dropped the case. Even signed a release. (Will has even poured Joan wine, she looks at her glass a little funny) Hey, how about a smile, Kev?

Kevin - No. I mean, no, it's great. Um...I'm happy. Finally. I'm gonna get a glass of water.

Joan - (Grabs Luke's phone) Luke, no text messaging at the table. That's 21st century bad manners.

Luke - Joan, I'm in a bit of a situation.

Joan - Grace holding out on the sugar?

Will - Can we have 5 minutes to celebrate the survival of our life savings?

Joan - I'm in.

Kevin - I saw Andy today.

Helen - He's here?

Kevin - He was waiting for me at work. He said that he was dropping the case, but I didn't believe him. I guess he wanted me to tell him that everything was ok now.

Will - Almost ruining us? He wants a pass on that?

Kevin - Yeah. Don't worry, dad. I told him to get lost.

Helen - I wonder why he changed his mind.

Will - Are you feeling sorry for him now?

Helen - No, but, I mean... it just came out of nowhere.

Will - Let's just be thankful that this whole mess is over. Enjoy the moment. Please? To no more lawyers!

Helen - To getting through it.

Kevin - To us!

Joan - [Clinking glasses] To drinking wine without getting grounded.

Luke - To Joan being in the musical about zombies at school this weekend which you will videotape and use to humiliate her for the rest of her life.

Kevin - Yes! Humiliation.

Helen -Really?

Will - Um... a musical what?

Luke - (To Joan) You should have let me text message.

I guess Joan was trying to hide the musical.. so secrets out of the bag.
We cut to Joan and Adam at his garage. He is designing the sets.

Adam - I think I might be getting in over my head.

Joan - Adam, you've been building things since you were teething. And you need to expand your portfolio. This is your chance.

Adam - Yeah, but that guy seemed pretty much like a loon.

Joan - Totally, but look at this. It's brilliant! I mean, how stoked are you to see this big, you know, zombies walking all over it?

Adam - It would be pretty cool. You know all the headstones move and they light up and then, you know, the graves open so the zombies can crawl out of them. And, you know, this-- can you actually glue these together for me?

Joan -Gluing.

Adam - Thank you.

Joan - You know, this is what it's gonna be like at college, us helping each other out. We'll share a house with a group of very cool people because, of course, we'll be cool.

Adam - Hey, what if the stage was blanketed in fog?

Joan - Oh, yeah.

It cuts to the stage where Adam is explaining his creation to Johnny Loonie.. I mean Broadway.

Adam - So when the undead rise, they come out from here and here, see?
Friedman -How exactly do we fit under the stage? Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Adam - This part's raised, ok? Now check out the lighting.

Johnny - I'm getting chills here.

Elizabeth - (From on Stage) Excuse me. Do you think that maybe we could rehearse the show at some point... since my aunt is driving in from Indiana?

Johnny - Elizabeth, this isn't about your aunt. This is about the process! (He yelled the word Process and slammed his hands on the desk)

Elizabeth - Well, how come you keep changing the show 4 days before we open? I mean, this is not how I worked in Godspell.

Adam - You know, I was thinking that Elizabeth would rise up on this moon thing and she's queen of the zombie prom or...

Elizabeth - (Always ready to be the center of attention) ok, well, that needs to happen.

Johnny - You see this, people? Inspiration doesn't follow a schedule. When it shows up, you better follow it! Otherwise, who are the zombies?

Friedman - (All alone, he thought the others would shout with him) We are!

Johnny - You, you find the tool belt people and you build, build, build. Everyone else, top of the finale! Thank you.

Elizabeth - Yes!

Joan - (To Adam) Congratulations.

Johnny - (To Joan in a whisper) I'm missing a zombie.

Cut to later that evening. Andy is playing basket ball and Kevin comes over to talk to him.

Andy - So how'd you find me?

Kevin - um... you know, I'm an investigative reporter. [Exhales] And you said you were staying at the "Y."

Andy - So... so what do you want?

Kevin - I don't know. I... well, yeah, I do. I--I--I just... I wanted to say thanks.

Andy - For being a bastard?

Kevin - No, not for that part. Uh...that part is yours to live with like I have to live with this.

Andy - Yeah. (He bounces the ball)

Kevin - Man... why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me? This happened to both of us.

Andy - I don't know. I was just waiting for the right time. And then it was too late. (He shoots, Kevin catches the rebound. He passes the ball back to Andy)Shoot.

Kevin shoots they start up a pick up game of ball

Cut back to the stage. Adam is worried about his set.

Joan - Hey.

Adam - Hey!

Joan - Oh, my god!

Adam - Yeah. It's better than the model, huh?

Joan - Yeah. Oh, this is Elizabeth's moon? It's so cool!

Adam - Could be.

Joan - Freaky trees.

Adam - Oh, yeah, but the branches need to be higher. I gotta go get a ladder. (He comes back) Oh, you know. I was talking to some crew guys about schools. We totally forgot about Canada.

Joan - That's colder than Vermont. (Ah Joan. Get out an atlas please. Please don't be an American who doesn't know that Windsor is further south than Vermont) Plus the money's way different.

Adam - I'll keep thinking.

Joan - Me, too. See you later.

Adam leaves and Joan wonders. She leaves the stage and comes across Femal Custodian god washing the awards case in the hall.

God - Pretty nifty set, huh, Joan?

Joan - Ha! Not even god can bring back the word "nifty."

God - Don't tempt me. So this is about Adam building sets so we can be together in college, right? I mean, I know it's never that direct, but it's sort of about that, right?

God - Right. It's never that direct. One action always has a chorus of consequences.

Johnny - (Inside on the stage) Yes! Yes, beautiful!

And the Zombies go by in the hall.

Joan - Ok. So it's about more than me and Adam.

God - Hard to believe, I know. Don't you just love the theater? People finding joy in creating whole new worlds? I couldn't keep that one to myself.

Joan - Can we just swing back to me for a minute here? Thanks. This "chorus of consequences." Can I have a few details? (She puts her hand on the glass) Because I'm trying to stay on track.

God - (God hits her hand) You're on track. Just stay open. You'll know your moment when it comes.

We cut to a commercial break again.

When we come back, Grace catches up to Joan to ask her about Luke and Glynis. Joan is watching rehearsal.

Danny the Zombie - Suzie honey, don't say no don't you know I love you so. I'll be yours forever if you let me eat your brain.

Grace - So, uh, Your freak show brother and Glynis, what were they like together?

Joan - I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Grace - Because before, I could make myself miserable all on my own. Now they make me miserable. I have a problem with that.

Joan - You're not gonna stop, are you?

Grace - Every time he and Glynis talk science, it's like...he acts like captain Kirk getting it on with a hot alien.

Joan - That is gross on so many levels.

Grace - Tell me about it. Nothing makes sense, dude. The inside of my head is like some gross stew the cafeteria wouldn't even serve.

Joan - You're jealous. It happens to everybody. Othello, the green-eyed monster. Remember?

Grace - Yeah, well, I hate it. It's like I'm a girl.

Chorus - ...And eat her brain

Big finale to the dance number. They all have it down pat.

Johnny - fantastic. Aren't we all thrilled?

Chorus - Yes! Yes!

Grace - (talking about Luke, but a little too loud) I think this sucks.

Johnny - Excuse me?

Joan - Ha ha! She's kidding.

Grace - Well, you got a girl up there singing about how she wants her boyfriend to eat her brains. (Elizabeth is shocked!) Not in my world.

Johnny - What happens in your world?

Grace - I'm not trying to rewrite your show, dude.

Johnny - No, please. Go ahead.

Carl the piano player - Oh, god. (He'll have to write ANOTHER song)

Joan is slouching low in her chair with her and on her forehead like she has a headache.

Grace - Well, the zombies represent the oppressed, right? So they should rise up and demand equal rights from the living.

Johnny - A zombie rebellion?

Grace - Totally. And if susie there really did have a brain, she'd join with the people who need her as they defeat the forces of tyranny. That would be something to sing about.

Johnny - It's brilliant. Let's do it. Zombie uprising. There's your song title.

He rips up the scripts. The whole cast groans

Carl - (Bangs head on keys)

Grace - Of course, you need a new queen.

Elizabeth - Why? I mean, I'm the queen.

Grace - Eh, prom queen. You need a real queen of the zombies who will rise up and lead the revolution.

Johnny - Yes, yes, yes, yes! You!

Joan - Me?

Johnny - Yes

Joan - No.

Johnny - Yes

Joan -No

Johnny - Yes. Yes. Yes, you're perfect. Oh! She's gonna rise up from the moon at the end and sing to her subjects about justice.

Friedman - Ooh! I want to be the military!

Adam - Dude, you could fly in on a chopper or--

Joan - wait! What just happened? What--

Elizabeth - my aunt is driving in from Indiana.

Joan - Yeah. She's the lead. She should definitely be the queen.

Johnny - Uhh! Take five, people, please. You (To Adam), choppers. Run with it. (to the piano player) Carmel, sweetie, don't you feel a new song coming on?

Joan - (to Grace) What did you just do?

Grace - I am still upset about the election.

Johnny - Adam! Huh? Can the moon rise from the depths of the earth?

Adam - Yeah. (He runs off)

Johnny - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it can. Oh, yeah! Ha ha ha ha!

We cut from that chaos to Grace stuffing her bag into her locker.
Glynis comes over to talk.

Glynis - What is your problem, Polk?

Grace - What was that?

Glynis - How about you just get over yourself, ok? Everybody knows Luke adores you. I'm willing to work with you, and if anyone should have a problem here, it's me, so you sulking and refusing to talk to Luke is just arrogance. Either that, or you actually believe that anything could happened between Luke and me-- which couldn't be further from the truth-- no matter how much I might fantasize. So why don't you do everyone a favor and take the giant stick out of your butt.

Grace - You are way more intense than I ever knew.

Glynis - Here are the formulas you can work on if you can successfully remove that stick.

Grace - Did he tell you to do this?

Glynis - You think I'd involve him in our business? Have some respect for me as a woman!

She storms off and we cut to the Girardi house where Will is singing to himself putting away papers from the lawsuit.

Will - Ba bah ba bah ba bah ba bah bah bah ya bah ba bah ba bah

Kevin - you really know how to take a vacation.

Will - I'm just putting away all the stuff from the lawsuit. I don't want it near us anymore.

Kevin - I saw Andy again.

Will - Well, what the hell is he trying to do? You know, I'll get a damn restraining order.

Kevin - No, no, dad. I went to see him. He's staying at the "Y." His parents kicked him out.

Will - Well, that's not your problem.

Kevin - You know, he pulled the plug on all this. I mean, he did the right thing.

Will - What about all he's been doing this past year? Stay away from him, Kevin. You can't trust someone like him, ever.

Kevin - But there's more between us than just this.

Will - No, there isn't. Not anymore. I've been around people like this my whole career. All you have is family. Family is all you can rely on.

Kevin - Doesn't that make the world pretty small?

Will - Yeah. It does.

Cut back to the school. Joan is walking out. She gets stuck at a door that is lock and tries to force it open. The female custodian god comes to help her.

God - Don't be frustrated, Joan.

Joan - Why not? Things are a little bit out of control, don't you think?

God - From where you stand, it may seem that way. But from my viewpoint, everything's perfect.

Joan - Have you seen Johnny Broadway? He's insane. Every day it's something new. It's chaos.

God - [Chuckles] Yeah.

Joan - You wanted me to join the chorus, so I did. But now I have a solo. I don't even want a solo. This is not what I signed up for.

God - I know. Just when you get comfortable, bingo, a new surprise.

Joan - Now you sound like Johnny Broadway. (He He) Look, I was just trying to do the right thing. I was, but everything just seems so random.

God - And you wanna know what it all means.

Joan - Yes. Thank you. I do.

God - Then I'd learn the song.

Joan - That's it?

God - Of course not. I'm a kind and benevolent god, remember? So I'll open the door for you. Stand back.

Joan - So now you do magic?

God - Nah. Just having a little fun. [Jingling keys] Best way to open doors. [Chuckles]

Cut to a commercial break. We cut back to the night of the show.
Joan is sitting back stage, very nervous.

Friedman - Eat lead, zombies. Eat lead, zombies.

Johnny - Loving the trees.

Adam - Thanks.

Danny Zombie - Do you wanna run your song with me?

Joan - I'm totally going to forget the words.

Elizabeth - You have to visualize it. Written in the lights. So instead of looking at the audience, you pretend that you're reading it, up there. Like it was written just for you. Because it is the best song.

Joan - Elizabeth, I didn't want this.

Elizabeth - It's ok. It's ok. My therapist says that with a voice like mine, I need to work on humility. (She holds both her hands) Break a leg. That's just a saying.

Joan - Mm-hmm.

Out front, in the hall, Luke is standing with Glynis. Grace is a little way away looking at posters, she comes over when she hears them talking.

Luke - Joan in a zombie costume. Dreams can come true.

Glynis - I wanted to be a zombie for Halloween once. My mom made me go as the little mermaid.

Grace - Hmm, typical. From the undead to an objectified corporate icon.

Luke - Grace.

Grace - Correct. Uh, did the formulas.

Glynis - Did you ever participate in the commercialization of the former pagan ritual?

Grace - Figliola, way to get radical.

Glynis - Hmm.

Luke - What? Does this mean...

Grace - don't push it, dude. It's an organic process.

Glynis - Yeah, dude.

Backstage again.

Johnny - All right, kids. Circle the wagons. Circle the wagons.

Adam - (To Joan) Your moon's ready.

Joan - (She sounds like she's gonna be sick) Set's really awesome.

Johnny - Circle the wagons, kids. Circle the wagons. Ok. Ok. Ok. Trust. Spontaneity. Love. Volume. What else is there? Carpe show-'em!

All - Carpe show-'em! Carpe show-'em. Whoo! Whoo!

In the audience

Will - Remember, it's just a school play. No crying.

Helen - That was one time. And she was dressed like a daisy. I couldn't help it.

The Curtain goes up on the play. There is what looks like a set of doors in the fore ground. People are dancing in the shadows.

A song to start the show.

Danny Zombie - Graduations almost here

Elizabeth - Will our love disappear?

The doors are moved off stage but snag a tree on their way, pulling it to the ground with a loud crunching sound. Adam tries to force it back up without being seen.

Danny Zombie - I'll be yours forever if you let me have your heart.

Elizabeth - (Speaking) Danny, can you believe it? Soon you'll be off to collage ....

They continue and we go to the insanity back stage.

Johnny - Let's go! Dead eyes, zombie hands. Make magic!

Joan - (practicing her song) Fighting, end this war

Then, we see feet begin lowered from above, almost hitting her head, and Joan jumps

Friedman - No, tuffy. Not down, up.

Joan - Ohh! Watch-- aah!

Then, Friedman falls down ON STAGE, his flyer dropped him and he knocked over Elizabeth on the stage. The whole audience laughs

Will - Maybe I'll cry this time.

Johnny - (in a whisper) Get Off the stage!

Friedman - (Trying to cover) I'm looking for my unit. There they are. I found them.

Joan - (Back stage) Do something!

Johnny - I don't have to. They're loving it.

Joan - (To Adam, Re: Johnny) He's psycho.

Friedman - (To his Flyer) You are an inexperienced buffoon, Tuffy. You're an idiot and a-- (Joan tapes him on the shoulder) what? What do you-- (She gives him a good right hook. WOW!)

The rock band plays and Zombies sing.

Miss. Lischak look-a-like - Danny what have you done.

Male - Will this effect my grade.

Miss Lischak look-a-like - nothing good can come of bad science I'm afraid.

Chorus - Bad Science Bad Science. Let no brain go to waist because a mind is a terrible thing to taste. Bad Science.

Then, the tomb stone lights start to flicker.

The play goes on with a version of "I'll be yours forever if you let me eat your brain"

Johnny - Adam! Adam! Adam! Flickering. Why are tombstones flickering?

Adam - Uh, the model worked perfectly. I don't...

He crawls out in cover of dry ice smoke and fiddles with the lights. They stay on for a while. Then there are all sorts of sparks and the set catches fire.

Grabs a fire extinguisher and the mask of the Miss Lischak look alike and rushes on stage.. dances a little to blend in and then puts out the fire.

Joan - stop this!

Johnny - And miss what happens next?

Joan gives him a puzzled look and we see Adam loosing control of the fire extinguisher. There is "Fog" everywhere.

Army Zombies are dropping in from the skies, people are falling over. I think it is going ok.. at least, Johnny isn't worried. The Audience is Laughing so hard. Luke can hardly keep the camera steady.

Johnny - Cue the rise of the queen.

They have to crawl a little ways to get to the moon.

Joan - Are you crazy? Everything's falling apart.

Johnny - I know. Come on. I know it all seems so random to you. But you want to know what it all means, don't you?

Joan - Johnny Godway? (Ah, see why custodian god sounded like Johnny?) I can still surprise you. Aw, it's cute. Come on. Come on, Joan. Come on. This is your moment. Go with it.

Grace - Anarchy lives.

On stage.

Friedman - Wait! Stop! Who is that magical creature?

Joan sings -

As she sings, Helen and Will snuggle up. Will cries and Helen hands him a tissue.

The song goes quickly to up temp and the people holding Joan up Drop her.
She is ok and they continue.

The cast holds Joan on their shoulders and there is applause from the audience and the stage falls apart.

After the show, at the cast party, Joan is looking for Adam.

Joan - Adam! Adam?

Elizabeth - Joanie! Joanie. You were... oh, come here. (She gives her a big hug)

Joan - All right, thanks.

Johnny - Carl told me he never thought he could write a song that beautiful. Even I got a little tear.

Carl - You made it wonderful. Thank you.

Joan - Thank you. Thanks. But it was a total disaster.

Johnny - Nothing of value comes without a little struggle. Some of the most beautiful flowers in the world only grow after a forest fire. Literally out of the ashes, they blanket the ground with color.

Joan - Yeah, but you could make that happen without the fire. People would like you more.

Johnny - They'd just find something else to blame me for. You can't control everything, Joan. Turmoil, conflict, chaos, this is part of life. Look at any playground. The screaming, the laughter, the tears, out of that mayhem comes relationships and love and the simple joy of being surprised by life.

Joan - So more surprises?

Johnny - Oh, yeah. There's always more surprises.

Joan - Yeah.

Adam - Jane. Hey. Hi. It was all falling apart.

Joan - I know. I'm sorry.

Adam - And then it was burning and then, I know, it got foggy, but then when, you know, you sang that song, Jane, that amazing song... (he kisses her) you know what would be the perfect school for us? North Carolina school of the arts. Ok? Y-you can sing, and I'll do art. And... what?

Joan - I don't know if I want to sing.

Adam - Oh. Ok.

Joan - I'm mean if you wanna go there...

Adam - no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, we're picking a place together.

Joan - Adam... are you really gonna be happy if you don't go where you want because of me? We wanna control this because we love each other, but that's-- that's exactly why we shouldn't.

Adam - But if we go to separate places...

Joan - I know. We won't know how things will turn out. Just like tonight, but... tonight turned out to be pretty amazing, and... I want that for you. Don't you want that for me?

Adam - Yeah. It's scary.

Joan - I know. You know, I could never get into Berkeley. And California is just... way too beach boys for me.

Adam - You might like it.

Joan - I'll visit.

Cut to the Girardi House. It is after the Play.

Joan - Weren't Adam's sets amazing... when they weren't falling down?

Helen - They were magnificent... because he has such a good teacher.

Will - Halfway through, I thought they should've had paramedics standing by.

Helen - Yeah

Luke - It was like watching fear factor.

Joan - And I was losing. [All laugh]

Will - No. You didn't lose. I, uh, took some time off this week, you know, to try and clear my head. Because I was starting to think... nothing was gonna feel right again. But seeing you... up there... I don't know, when that light hit you and everything else disappeared... I started to believe again. I don't know what I'm saying. It was just... thank you.

Kevin comes in.

Luke - Dude, you missed like the greatest show on earth.

Kevin - I'm sorry. I tried.

Helen - You should've seen Joan.

Will - Where were you?

Kevin - Uh, things came up. I lost track of time.

Will - Andy?

Kevin - Uh... I--I called to see how he was doing. And we went out to talk. I mean I know he screwed up, but, uh...

Will - he still at the "y"?

Kevin - Yeah.

Will - You should, um, have him stay here. It'll be more comfortable. You know, until he figures out what he's gonna do. Hey, have some ice cream, huh? Before I eat it all.

Luke - Kev, the whole set imploded. What? What do you mean?

Joan goes over and hugs her father and the rest of this dialog can be heard just below the very loud end music (seriously Producers.. WHY .. Why write such funny endings if you're going to drowned it out.
I thought everyone would like to read it anyways.

Helen - And Friedman dropped from the sky and clocked Elizabeth Goetzman.

Luke - No. You see, he just, like, fell from-- like he wasn't supposed to.

Helen - Things caught fire. A real fire on stage.

Kevin - What?

Helen - Adam came out with a fire extinguisher.

Luke - Yeah. Adam had like a zombie mask, pretended to be a zombie to put out the fires. There was a helicopter. Oh, Friedman has a helicopter.