No Future - episode 9 of season 2 begins with Joan in therapy with Dr. Dan. She is sitting in a chair across from him.
Joan - One time I dreamt I had this sea turtle named Lady... who could talk, and we did everything together. Including talk. We played cards and swam and ate junk food. When I woke up, I missed her so much. Even though she was... never real. I mean, especially because... because she wasn't real.
Dr. Dan - But Judith was real, Joan.
Joan - Lady the sea turtle was this... exotic... magical creature. She belonged to me. Nobody else had a friend like her. And then I actually... found someone who was like... a talking sea turtle. [Giggles] I mean, she was... magical and... exotic. You're totally not following me, are you?
Dr. Dan - It's normal to be angry with someone who dies. You feel abandoned.
Joan - (changing tone) So what happens in psychiatry school, hmm? What, they suck out every original thought?
Dr. Dan - Now you're transferring your anger onto me.
Joan - No, I'm actually angry with you.
Dr. Dan - do you know why?
Joan - 'Cause you're a jerk.
Dr. Dan - I took god away from you. I destroyed that magical and exotic friendship. More than ever, you wish he were real.
Joan - (She sits up and leans toward Dr. Dan) Lots of people believe in god... who are not crazy. Isaac Newton, bono... pretty much anyone who wins an award.
Dr. Dan - Believing is one thing. Seeing is another. Are you seeing him again?
Joan doesn’t answer. Then we cut to outside. Joan is walking with Helen to the car. Helen is drilling Joan.
Helen - Do you think it went well?
Joan - (kind of snippy) It went fine.
Helen - And it helped to talk to him?
Joan - Mom, my friend died, I'm sad. Apparently that's normal.
Helen - Joan...
Joan - mom, you wanted me to go talk to dr. Dan, I went and talked to dr. Dan. I don't want to see him anymore.
Helen - Why not?
Joan - He has nose hair.
Helen - Oh, that is not a reason.
Joan - You keep dragging me to the shrink every time something bad happens.
Helen sees the meter maid at her car.
Helen - Oh, no! Ohh!
Meter maid - This your car?
Helen - Yes. (looks at the ticket) Are you serious? $28? I... I was just taking my daughter to see a counsellor.
Joan - (glares at her mother) Mom!
Meter maid - Just doing my job, ma'am.
Helen - Unbelievable!
Meter maid - (to Joan who has a general sulk) What? What can I tell you? Her meter ran out.
Joan - (Reading subtext that isn’t there) What?
Meter maid - Her time ran out.
Joan - (she goes to the curb to yell at the meter maid) Oh, really? That's your defence? Her time ran out? That's the best you can do when it comes to the point of human existence? "Sorry. Time's up." Too bad about all those people you loved and all the plans you had. You know, it must be really great to know that your time's never gonna run out.
Meter maid - What?
Joan - (Helen honks her horn) Coming! (Helen goes to ask her what that was all about, but Joan puts a hand in her face) Just drive.
Joan obviously thought that was god, but it was not. We see Joan sulking in the car as Helen drives away. We cut to opening credits here.
When we return, we are in the Girardi dining room. Their new lawyer, Kroner, is briefing Kevin, Helen and Will.
Kroner - I got them to agree to do the depositions in my office. Too emotional to travel? It's gonna sound great in the court when the jury's staring at my client. End of the day, they would have done it in your living room.
Helen - I still don't understand why the kids have to participate.
Kroner - No, it's good. This will work for us. The more kids you have, the more lives are ruined. Tell them to load it up, too. Usually the deposition is monosyllables. When it comes to describing the night of this accident, I want to hear violins playing. That goes triple for you, kiddo.
Kevin - No problem.
Will - Chuck, we're on board with the aggressive approach, but this language upsets my wife.
Helen - I'll do all my own talking, Will.
Will - Ok, then it upsets me.
Kroner - Litigation, people, not synchronized swimming.
Joan - (coming in from upstairs ) Mom. No pressure, but all the clothes I like are dirty. Sorry.
Will - Joan, Chuck Kroner. Our daughter Joan is wearing her least favourite clothes.
Kroner - Nice to meet you, Joan. If you'll excuse me, I have to run. In my profession, time actually is money.
Joan - (After Kroner leaves) What's with captain creepy? (They are all silent)[Sighs] Whatever it is, I am not going to therapy.
She runs upstairs.
Cut to Luke and Grace who are walking in the halls. I guess everyone has forgotten what they saw between Grace and Luke on last weeks show. They are still pretending not to be dating.
Luke - I know it's a lot to ask.
Grace - Dude... licking your floors would be a lot to ask.
Luke - No. It's one dinner. It's my birthday dinner. My dad makes Lasagne.
Grace - I'll get you a present. Besides, someone we knew is actually dead. How can you even think of celebrating?
Luke - It's dinner, Grace. You know, nobody's going to do the limbo or wear stupid hats.
Grace - Look, once your sister knows, the world knows. We might as well get married.
Luke - Joan won't figure it out.
Grace - Oh, yeah. She's not that stupid.
Luke - Stupid, no. Self-absorbed? Paris Hilton has more perspective. I'll say we have to study later. It's my 16th birthday, you know, the one where you get a car. I mean, I'm just getting a diving watch. But, still, it's a watershed event.
Grace - I thought you were afraid of the ocean.
Luke - Grace, this is what I want for my birthday, ok? Not a present, not a rain check, not 5 more minutes of make-out time.
Grace - (She whispers, Cutting him off) Shut up!
Luke - This is a deal-breaker, Grace.
Grace ducks out before people could notice they were talking and the camera catches up with Adam and Joan who are walking together.
Joan - I'm still having nightmares about Judith, and now I have to go to this lawyer's office and talk about Kevin's accident? What did I do in my past lifetime, kill puppies?
Adam - Truly. Yeah. You know, plus this is the week price is gonna analyze the college counsellor's report.
Joan - Are you kidding me? How could I hate my life more?
Friedman - (Walks between them and practically sings) Tests are back today.
Joan - What? Way to bounce back after Judith.
Adam - It's a classic coping mechanism. You'll do fine on the test. I quizzed you.
Cut to inside the class where Joan is looking at her test. A big BIG red f is at the top and things are circled and notes are all over.
Grace - Wow. Did Lischak use her own blood?
Adam - What happened? You knew it.
Joan - I guess I just froze.
Adam - (Joan pulls his paper out from his book) I got lucky. Look, it's just 'cause you were under a lot of stress.
Joan - Luke is stressed. Friedman is heartbroken.
In front of them, Luke and Friedman are celebrating.
Friedman - Sweet
Luke - We so rock.
Joan - I am incredibly stupid.
Adam - Physics is hard.
Joan - Physics is hard? That's like the intellectual version of "you're not fat."
Adam - Look, it's just your first test. You have plenty of time to make it up.
Joan - (To Friedman, as he is walking over to them, looking a little more depressed than 30 seconds ago) The next sentence could be your last.
Friedman - Lischak gave it to me because I helped her study. That's all I was gonna say.
It is Judith’s test. Even Judith, who was doing extra credit in the way of a juggling project managed to get a “C” on her test.
We cut away to Kroner’s office where Will is being disposed.
Baker’s lawyer - This is the deposition in the matter of Baker vs. Girardi, and today we're deposing Will Girardi. If it pleases our parties, I would like Mr. Kroner to review some paperwork, verify addresses and dates, that sort of thing. And then we'll begin.
Will - Of course.
Will looks over and sees a foot ball helmet and goes into flash back. From this point, all flash backs in this episode will be in italics. Just so we know where to transition and I don’t need to spell it out.
It is 2 years ago in the Girardi Kitchen at their old house. November 9th, 2002. It is smaller than there kitchen now. Will is getting a beer from the fridge. Joan is sitting on the counter. Her hair in pigtail braids (even though she was 14 going on 15) and Luke is wearing a retainer that goes around the back of his head. (He is 13, going on 14) He is talking about a kite.
Luke - It's ram-air traction, rip-stop nylon. You barely need a breeze to fly it. It's like the perfect display of positive/negative air flow.
Joan - It's a kite.
Luke - Yeah, and it's smarter than you.
Joan - And it's more interesting than you.
Will - Guys, not today.
Kevin - (Walks in and goes to the fridge. He is 17 and a senior in high school) Where's the Gatorade?
Will - Hey, it's 4:30. You're not suited up.
Kevin - I'll suit up at the gym. I got time.
Will - You'll get benched.
Kevin - Henderson pulled a groin muscle. Nobody else to carry the ball.
Will - That's your work ethic?
Kevin - Dad, it's football. It's not even my sport. Baseball--I give 110%.
Will - So you skim off the top elsewhere? What kind of a man are you? The point is, you signed up to play, you give it everything.
Kevin - Can I get the abbreviated lecture? You’re gonna make me late.
Will - You're already late, and this is not how I raised you to think.
Kevin - You've been on me all day.
Will - Yeah, well, that's my job.
Helen - (Comes in from another room) What's wrong now?
Will - This is between me and Kevin.
Kevin - I have to go.
Will - Whoa, whoa. I'm not finished here.
Helen - He's going to be late for the game, Will.
Will - Helen, please.
Helen - Please what?
Will - You're always making excuses for him. You encourage him.
Helen - That's my crime? I encourage my son?
Will - No. You baby him. He's a man and he needs to act like it. And he can't do that if his mother's still making his bed.
Helen - Will, it's homecoming. Try not to ruin it for him. I'm ruining it?
Kevin - (Walking out) Bye.
Will - Kevin, don't you walk out on me!
Kevin - I'm a man. I'm acting like it.
Will - Hey! We're not finished here. One day you're gonna get your ass kicked, and there's a part of me that's looking forward to it! Do you hear me?! Kevin! (He slams the door)
Lawyer - And we're ready to begin. Mr. Girardi, if you would start by spelling your name. Mr. Girardi?
Kroner - Will, you ok? Need a minute?
Will - No, I'm ready.
Lawyer - Spell your name for the record.
Will - G-I-R-A-R-D-I.
We cut to a commercial break here. When we return, we are starting the next morning with Joan coming down to breakfast. Kevin is sitting at the kitchen table.
Joan - I want sugar and I want it now. (She notices Kevin is writing) The latest expose? Did somebody double park?
Kevin - I'm writing stuff down for the deposition.
Joan - Wait. Were we supposed to prepare? I thought we just show up and say yes or no.
Kevin - That's your job. My testimony is gonna count for a lot.
Joan - Well, that's good, because I'm the dumb one.
Kevin - Fast times at arcadia high.
Joan - Guess I'm still just dealing with Judith. (Kevin looks at her) I failed my physics test. Failed. I've had D’s before, but... once you see that "F," it's like a whole other part of the alphabet.
Kevin - Why are you even taking physics?
Joan - 'Cause I'm into quarks and stuff. (Kevin looks at her) Because of Adam. He's such a Brainiac. I feel like I'm supposed to be one, too, because he deserves a girlfriend who's as smart as he is. Are we actually talking about stuff? It's not even 8:00 yet.
Kevin - You can't do things to impress other people.
Joan - Yeah. And nothing in our society encourages that.
Luke comes in paying air guitar and singing riff.
Joan - No singing.
Luke - [Laughs] Sorry, but sometimes life is good.
Joan - Not in here it isn't.
Luke - Is this about your "f"?
Joan - Is this about the playboy magazines in your underwear drawer?
Kevin gives Luke a thumbs up and we cut to the high school again. Joan and Adam are standing out side the school office.
Adam - So what if you don't make ivy league? Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, if George Bush is any indication... right.
Joan - But I want to go wherever you go. I mean, that's still the plan, at least, right?
Adam - Sure. Yeah. I'm thinking second tier, you know? University of Texas, Austin. A lot of great filmmakers came out of there. Wes Anderson, for example.
Joan - I could do Austin. We could learn how to two-step. (Adam laughs) You know what I think about? How much Judith is missing out on all this.
Male Secretary - (Who is gay, by the way) Miss Girardi. Mr. Price is ready for you.
Joan - Ok. Wish me luck.
She gives him a kiss and the secretary knocks on the window
Secretary - Watching the PDA.
Adam - Good luck.
Secretary - Try to remember who you are, Joan. Coyly stated by the almighty.
Joan - Remember who I am. That's my assignment?
God - It's easy to get derailed when confronting the future. Try to stay grounded. And stand up straight. I didn't create you to slouch.
Joan - Wait. Hold on. Go. You know my future, so why do I have to go discuss it with Price?
God - That free will lecture just doesn't land with you, does it? ‘
Price - (From his door way) Ahem! Growing old and dying in here, ms. Girardi.
Joan - (To god) Works for me.
A few seconds later in Price’s office.
Price - Ms. Girardi, I've received Mr. Tuchman's evaluation. You've listed one of your major considerations for your destination of higher learning as "weather."
Joan - I'm not good with cold.
Price - You failed your first AP physics test.
Joan - Physics is hard. Look, why don't you just tell me what schools you think I have a shot with. My first choice would be university of Texas, Austin.
Price - U.T. Is a fine school. Unfortunately, they do have as one of their admissions criteria evidence of brain activity.
Joan - But...I got straight B’s last semester.
Price - Mm. You were somewhat farther down the musical scale the year before.
Joan - Well...I mean, that was my old school. I was... I was different then.
Price - There's a reason they call it a permanent record, Ms. Girardi. Any 4-year college is out of your range. I'm recommending Arcadia community college.
Joan - No, no, no, no. I'm--I-- I can't stay here. I'm going wherever Adam goes.
Price - Adam rove is a gifted student. He has a promising future. I'm sure you don't want to hold him back. (He gives her a file) Good day, ms. Girardi.
Cut to Ms. Preston’s office. Will has just entered.
Preston - So... talk to me.
Will - I was deposed yesterday. It brought a lot of stuff up. I don't feel comfortable talking about it.
Preston - Ok. Just thought I'd ask.
Will - I'll redo the reports.
Preston - That's not the point.
Will - The night of the accident... it was homecoming weekend. Kevin and I had been sniping at each other all day. He was walking out the door and I said, "you're gonna get your ass kicked, and I'm looking forward to it." [Sighs deeply] That's the last thing I said to my son before he was paralysed.
Preston - So... you're guilty for being human.
Will - It was a horrible thing to say.
Preston - People say horrible things to each other all the time. Saying it didn't make the accident happen. As my ex-husband was going out the door, I yelled after him, "and I hope your--" (She cuts off) kind of a John Bobbett moment there, you know? I mean, you get mad, you go for the weak spot. I really think you can let yourself off the hook here, Will. How's Helen dealing with this?
Will - I didn't tell her about the Kevin thing. I didn't want to upset her.
Preston - I think that was probably a good idea. She has enough. Still waiting to meet her, by the way. Not quite convinced she's real.
Will - We'll have you over for dinner soon.
Preston - Oh, well, don't get carried away. Nobody's gotta cook.
Will - Well, we--we like it at our house. Thanks for listening.
Preston - Thanks for talking.
Later that day, Helen is being disposed at Kroner’s office.
Lawyer - Mrs. Girardi, we're asking you to revisit the evening of November 9, 2002. Are you cognizant of the events on that evening?
Helen - Yes, I remember the night my son was paralyzed.
Lawyer - I know this is hard.
Helen - Can we skip the false concern?
Kroner - [Whispering] keep your eyes on the prize. Helen...
Helen - Sorry. What was the question?
Lawyer - Did you speak with your son while he was at this homecoming party?
Helen - No. My husband did.
Will - Are you coming to bed?
Helen - Eventually.
Will - Good game tonight. He broke some nice tackles. He called from the party. He'll be back by midnight. I'm trying to let him grow up, Helen.
Helen - I don't want to argue with you. Go to bed.
Will - I'm worried about his attitude. He acts like there's a free ride waiting for him.
Helen - He's a good-looking, athletic kid. There's nothing wrong with him enjoying that.
Will - He relies on it. That's not how the world works. And aren't we supposed to prepare him for the world?
Helen - That's only part of the job. Do you think you might be resentful because he has some things that you didn't?
Will - Excuse me? Resentful of my own son?
Helen - You are all over him. Nothing is good enough. Talk about letting him grow up. How's he supposed to do that with you breathing down his neck?
Will - My job is to turn him into a man, period.
Helen - What kind of a man? A man who hates his father?
Will - I'm going to take a shower.
Helen - Yeah, you do that.
Will - I don't forgive that statement.
Helen - I'm not asking you to!
She goes over to the window, and as a lightning strikes in the sky she sees for just an instant Kevin lying on the ground. She blinks and its gone.. The door bell rings.
Helen - Are you gonna get that, Will?! (It rings again, a little more urgently) Will!
Lawyer - He talked about Kevin. Your husband went up for a shower. The doorbell rang. And then what, mrs. Girardi?
Helen - The police.
Cut to that evening. Helen is in bed and Will is doing sit ups.
Will - Ok, this time I mean it.
Helen - You're going to start running again.
Will - I'm going to set my alarm for 5:30.
Helen - Not in this bedroom you're not.
Will - [Out of breath] Well... you want me to get old and fat?
Helen - As long as you do it with me. (She gives him a kiss)
Will - Did you buy something expensive?
Helen - Mm... I had my deposition today. And... I was remembering how horrible I was to you right before the accident.
Will - No, you weren't.
Helen - I remembered something else. Right before the cops came to the door... I... had this vision... this image of Kevin lying on the ground in the rain. I saw it. What do you think that was?
Will - I don't know. (Gets into bed) Oh, by the way, I'm going to invite Lucy to dinner. I was thinking Friday. (Helen is angry about this) It's what you do, Helen. You invite the boss over. We had roebuck over. That's what you do. I mean, if Friday's a big problem...
Helen - it's not the day, it's the person.
Will - Well, maybe you could meet her before you fully commit to hating her.
Helen - So after I feed her, then I can hate her?
Will - (leaning in to give her a kiss) With complete abandon.
Helen pulls away before he can kiss her. We cut to another commercial break here.
We come back to the High school Gym where Grace, Luke, Adam, Joan and Glynis are sitting in the bleachers watching Friedman try his hand at Gymnastics. He is not very good.
Grace - It's some kind of breakdown.
Joan - It's because of Judith.
Glynis - Which is kind of sweet.
Luke - It's not about Judith. It's about price. He needs a sport for Harvard.
Glynis - Hmm. It's curiously appealing picturing him in maroon and white.
Grace - Is everyone having a breakdown?
Adam - It's college, man. It's like we're all possessed. Price told me I have to put in more hours in the design studio if I want to get into Stanford.
Joan - Stanford? I thought you were going to Texas.
Adam - He said for what I want to do, Stanford. I got a shot. That's on your short list, right?
Joa - Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Glynis - What if all this time he's had an inner warrior?
Friedman takes a running jump at a balance beam and lands (OUCH) and roles off the beam.
Glynis - (jumping up to help him) Holy future Friedmans! Walk it off, Harvardian! Back in the saddle!
Joan - I have to go.
Adam - Are you ok?
Joan - Yeah, I'm fine.
Adam - Jane.
Grace - I will not sing. I will not wear a dress.
Luke - What?
Grace - Those are the terms.
Luke - So you're saying yes?
Grace - And it has nothing to do with that asinine threat. I will do all the breaking up around here. Got it?
Luke - Absolutely.
Very happy with this, we cut to Joan walking down the street.. She sees a fortune teller and goes in
Joan - Hi. Uh... how much of my future can I get for $5.00?
Fortune teller - Well, it's a slow day. [Grunts] Sit down. You can sit here. [Coughing] (Joan hands her the money) [Continues coughing] Thank you. (Dealing out the tarot cards) Ok. Mm-hmm. Mm. That's funny.
Joan - What? (Fortune teller motions at the cards)
Fortune teller - they’re blank
Joan - What does that mean?
Fortune teller - Apparently you have no future. Technically speaking, no one does.
Joan - Oh god
God - That’s me You heard of string theory?
Joan - I'm failing my physics class, remember?
God - A quick tutorial-- past, present, future, all co-existing, in different dimensions, with different rates of vibration.
Joan - Great. How about college?
God - Oh, the future's not fixed, Joan. Its very existence is determined by the choices you make in the present.
Joan - Ok...what are you saying, I shouldn't worry about the future?
God - The best way to affect it is by bringing your consciousness to the moment.
Joan - Oh, you're like a walking refrigerator magnet.
God - Well, I'm just saying that that's where all the action is. It's the only place you have any real power.
Joan - Your wig is, like, from Cher's reject pile. Are you aware?
God - Don't forget about the present, Joan.
Joan gets up and walks out and we go to Luke’s deposition.
Luke - It felt like a normal night. Uh...you know, Joan and I got dragged to the game to watch Kevin play. Then...of course the endless talking about him in the car on the way back. I'm used to being ignored. You know, the youngest and all. Hand-me-downs. Used toys.
Lawyer - Luke. Back to point.
Luke - Right. It's not therapy. Not that I need therapy. So, um... anyway, I was engaged in some kind of... academic pursuit.
Three stooges on TV.. I don’t know their names.. But they are all talking to a phone telling jokes..
Joan - (wanting a cheesy puff - she sounds like a 4 year old.. Not a 14 year old) . Gimme.
Luke - Get your own.
Joan - Get your rank feet off of me.
Luke - Physical violence, the favourite tool of the intellectually impaired. (Looking at the kite on TV) Want it, need it, getting it.
Joan - That is a baby toy.
Luke - It's a ram-air traction kite with rip-stop nylon, mid-range action ratio--
Will - (An eco of the argument they had in the kitchen, so we know where in the night we are.) I don’t forgive that statement.
Helen - I'm not asking you to!
Luke - They better not get divorced before next week.
Joan - You're always thinking about yourself.
Luke - It's my birthday.
Joan - You, you, you, you...
Luke - yeah, right. As if anything in this house matters except Kevin.
Joan - I know. How do you fix it?
Helen - Are you gonna get that, will?
Luke - Can't. We'll just have to put our scarred psyches to some productive use.
Helen - Will!
Joan - No-- Luke-- Gimme!
They fight over the bag and it rips open spraying cheesy puffs all over the two of them as Helen cries out.
We cut to a commercial break here. Return to the high school. Joan has caught up with Helen.
Joan - mom, um... I have to go to the deposition now, and, um, well, since I have to tell the truth, I thought I would start here.
Helen - Oh, god.
Joan - Promise not to freak out.
Helen - Speak.
Joan - I failed my physics test and I don't have a shot at a 4-year college. (rushes out) Bye.
Helen - Whoa!
Seconds later, Helen is going towards Price’s office in a huff.
Helen - Price!
Joan - Mom, see, this is what freaking out looks like.
Helen - Did you tell my daughter that she has no academic future?
Price - Ahem. Mrs. Girardi, if you would like to make an appointment--
Helen - did you use the words, while speaking to my daughter, "no future"?
Price - [Sighs] She was paraphrasing.
Helen - Well, paraphrase this. I'm in no mood for you and your soul-destroying tactics right now. My entire family is being deposed in a lawsuit, I'm behind in my work, and I have to feed my husband's horrible boss tonight, so just cut the crap and account for yourself. Did you tell my daughter she has no future?
Price - I see her options as limited.
Helen - See, I get that you are disappointed in your own life. I don't blame you. But this girl hasn't abandoned her dreams yet. And so to try to steal that from her, to try to rob someone of their future, I'm pretty sure you go to hell for that. Tell her you were wrong.
Price - I...
Helen - tell her.
Price - I might have overstated.
Helen - (With a sweet smile) Thank you.
Out in the Hall.
Joan - That was awesome.
Helen - You--study harder, get your act together. You are going to college, because there will be no more casualties in this family.
The secretary god looks out into the hall and Joan makes a frustrated face.
Later that evening, Will and Preston come into the Girardi home.
Will - Something smells good.
Helen - Any more garlic, the paint would peel. (Helen take a swig of wine)
Will - Lucy Preston, my boss. Helen Girardi, my other boss. (He kisses Helen)
Helen - That line never gets old.
Will - Never does.
Preston - Hey. It's nice to finally meet you.
Helen - Yeah. You, too. (Preston hands Helen a bottle of wine) Oh, thank you. You didn't have to.
Will - Can I get you a glass of that?
Preston - Um, actually, uh, scotch, if it's going.
Will - Oh, it's going.
Helen - Uh, I hope this resembles food. I've been dealing with a deposition, and I had to yell at the vice principal today.
Preston - I told will, I mean, you know, cooking is not necessary. I could have picked up a bucket of chicken on the way.
Helen - Oh no it’s fine. I'm happy to do it.
Preston - Let me, uh, let me chop something. (She picks up a tomato and a knife, Helen is chopping mushrooms) I'm good at that.
Helen - Oh--uh, ok, yeah.
Preston - So will's quite a guy. (Helen is silent) No way could I do this job without him. (Helen is silent) This lawsuit thing you're going through, man, that's... that's ridiculous. (Helen is silent) Will says you're religious. That must come in handy. I was raised southern Baptist, but, uh... now I'm just pissed god doesn't exist.
Helen - I think that's enough. Tomatoes.
Preston - Oh. Yeah. Ok.
Joan is giving her disposition.
Joan - We'd all gone to the game. We won. And, uh, this guy, Richard Gould, flirted with me. That's what I was thinking about. And then... then when we got home, um, Luke and I decided to watch TV, and... the doorbell rang.
Helen is crying by the door. Will rushes over to her.
Will - What? What is it?
Joan - (voice over) - (They are all driving in a car. It is raining) The drive seemed really long. I was staring at everything going by, like it was all new. Or like I'd never see it again. I remember thinking, this is the moment when my whole life changes. It's like everything before this and everything after. I remember praying, but I don't know who I was praying to. I didn't believe in god. I was bargaining, telling him all the things I'd do if he let Kevin live. Then I looked at my brother Luke. He was counting on his fingers. You have to understand, he's a math genius and he was counting on his fingers. That's how screwed up he was, but... I didn't feel sorry for him. I wanted to kill him, because I knew he was counting the days till his stupid birthday. He'd been talking about this dumb kite, like that was something to get excited about.
Court scribe - I'm sorry to interrupt. He wanted a what for his birthday?
Joan - A kite.
Scribe - And his birthday was when?
Joan - 10 days after Kevin's accident. November 19th. (Recolection) Oh, my god. You weren't talking about the present. You were talking about... the present. Unless it was both. I bet you it was both because that's what you do.
Scribe - (Who, by the way, is god.. Nice job god) I'm back on the record.
Joan was talking to the scribe and the lawyers were just looking at her.. She didn’t care.
We cut back to the dinner at the Girardi’s.
Helen - We should go ahead and eat. The kids are scattered all over the place. No telling when they'll be home.
Will - Where are they?
Helen - Um, Joan had to be deposed after school. Kevin was going to be deposed after work.
Preston - (Trying to make a joke) Oh, these kids today and their depositions.
Helen - (hears a door open) That must be Luke.
Will - Just in time, buddy.
Helen - Hey. Oh, Luke, you brought Grace. Uh, Luke, this is dad's boss Lucy Preston. Our son Luke and his friend Grace Polk.
Grace - Study partner.
Luke - That's not lasagne.
Will - Nope. Mom's leg of lamb. Grab a seat.
Luke - (Rushing out) I'm not hungry.
Grace - (left standing there for a moment) We have a lot of work to do.
Will - And he's the easy one. [Chuckling]
Kevin’s disposition.
Kevin - [Sighs] Uh, I was fighting with my girlfriend. That's why we left the party. Um... she... [Clears throat] Went to the bathroom, and, uh, I took that as an opportunity to duck out.
Lawyer - Had you been drinking?
Kevin - Uh... a little. I had a beer. I wasn't much of a drinker.
Lawyer - Had Andy been drinking?
Kevin - Yeah. But I don't know how much.
Lawyer - To your knowledge, was Andy drunk when you left?
Andy - I was about to make a move on Dee Dee carter. You owe me large.
Kevin - Hey, let's go to Webster's. He's always got a college girl.
Beth - Kevin. Kevin, don't you dare walk out on me! (She grabs his arms and spins him around) Hey! What kind of guy walks away from a girl, huh?
Kevin - You're mad. We'll talk about it when you've calmed down.
Beth - No! If you leave now, it's over. (He turns to leave) Hey, isn't it enough that you cheated on me?
Kevin - Look, we're not married.
Beth - I trusted you. I loved you. That doesn't matter at all to you?
Kevin - I--I can't get into this now. We'll talk tomorrow.
Beth - I'm not gonna be here tomorrow.
Andy - hey always say that, man.
Kevin - I know. Andy, give me the keys.
Andy - Why?
Kevin - I only had one beer.
Andy - This is my dad's car, man. You're not insured to drive it. He'd kill me, man. Besides, I'm fine.
Kevin - Hey, Andy. Keys. Come on.
Andy - Kevin, if you say "keys" one more time, I swear to god, I'm gonna buy you a sundress.
Kevin’s friends laugh and Kevin gives in.
Andy - All right. Kevin, buddy. Trust me.
Andy can barely stand up. He tosses the keys up into the air.
Cut to the Girardi Garage. Luke and Grace are sitting silent.
Joan - Ah. So Luke and Grace really are in the garage. I thought mom was having a mini-stroke. What are you doing in here?
Grace - Studying.
Joan - No...you're not studying. You're pouting because everybody forgot your birthday.
Luke - Wouldn't you?
Joan - Yeah, but... it's the deposition.
Luke - So it's all about Kevin again. That makes it ok?
Joan - Dude. Just take it easy on them, ok? When they remember, they'll feel so guilty, they'll buy you a car. (She gives him the Kite) Didn't have time to wrap it.
Luke - The kite. [Sniffles] I never got it.
Joan - Yeah. Well... it's only a few years late. Sue me.
Grace - I got you something, too. (Grace holds up a piece of paper)
Luke - Our secrecy contract.
Grace folds the contract and then rips it up. Luke is happy. Then Grace kisses Luke, Right in front of Joan. Joan has a shocked and confused face .. But Luke is happy, I’m sure.
Remember Grace said, once Joan knows everyone knows.. No more hiding.
Cut to Helen and Will’s bed room.
Will - Did you like her?
Helen - Like her? Well... she's me.
Will - She's you?
Helen - Yeah. If I were shorter or political or...didn't have, you know, a soul.
Will - I can't believe you're threatened by this woman.
Helen - I'm not threatened by her. I just...don't understand why you tell her everything about us.
Will - I don't tell her everything. She's my boss. We talk.
Helen - Oh, my god.
Outside, Joan, Grace and Luke are trying to fly the kite.. They don’t’ have enough wind.
Luke sees Helen and Will come outside and Leaves Grace and Joan to play with the Kite as he goes to talk to his parents.
Luke - It's ok.
Helen - It's not. It's just not.
Will - It's my fault.
Luke - It doesn't matter.
Helen - Sweetheart, it does.
Luke - Ok, it does, but it-- you know... things came out of it that I didn't see coming. And I'm really happy now. 'Cause, you know... we're all here. And Grace is here. And Joan remembered. And Kevin is ok. And I'm gonna have a lot of birthdays. Besides... now you guys have to buy me a car.
He hugs his parents they tell him happy birthday. Grace and Joan yell to him from the street.
Joan - Hey, come on, Squarepants! Let's get this thing in the air.
Luke runs to them and he finally gets the kite in the air.. As it’s flying, the kite transitions into the keys that Andy tossed into the air in Kevin’s flash back. The keys slip through Andy’s hands and he laughs. Kevin looks back at Beth and decides to get into the car. The last shot is Kevin’s shoes and the car starting. Excellent episode. No Future.
